So...there I was, on a date with a man who I thought was going to at least be a good date, if nothing else. I have to admit, I had a bad attitude going in--having woken up that morning rather emotional and achy...and having a strong desire to remain in my yoga pants straight into Sunday morning. However, I had been emailing this stranger for about a month and a half, and I figured I should at least show up like I said I would. That whole "let your yes be yes" business gets me every time.
It also doesn't help that I am a food snob. Yes, a legit snob. I love fresh unprocessed foods, because well, they love me. They don't make my body feel icky and they keep fibro symptoms and migraines at bay. But this guy decided we would meet at Applebees, and even as my nose wrinkled at the thought, I decide I can be a non food snob from time to time.( Of course, even as I write this I still sort of feel like everyone just needs to come to the light and be a food snob with me, but I digress...)
I drove an hour and 20 minutes through the fog (but yes, I did have shoes on and I didn't really have to drive uphill, just north ;-) ). I get there and he's there waiting. He doesn't seem to recognize me which I find odd because my pictures clearly look like me online. No surprises--that's my policy! We are quickly ushered to a table when the talking begins, and goes on, and on, and on, and on for 2 hours and 45 minutes. Perhaps he was nervous...perhaps not so suave with the social skills...both things I can overlook to some degree...but after about 2 hours, I think I may have said a total of 5 sentences. The conversation was odd too...ranging from bullying to grandma's with dementia, to living at his parent's house with chickens, to his Catholic young adult group. Yes, I know...you're all jealous.
After a few hours of this I took a short(ish) trip to the bathroom to heal my swirling introverted brain. I tried not to look like a crazy woman as I took deep breaths at the sink and splashed water on my wrists. I took a resolved breath and headed back to the table. And FINALLY...there it was-- a question all for me to answer on my own! I could barely contain my glee...until---
He wanted to know why I don't choose to be Catholic anymore. Having grown up in the Catholic church and now attending a non-denominational one, I am used to answering that question to other non-denominational Christians. But, explaining that to a Catholic (and an evidently die-hard papist) was a new one for me and I had to gather my thoughts for a few moments. Let me preface with the fact that I deeply respect the faith of my childhood. It's where I first learned that Jesus loves me, where I first heard His voice, and where I first experienced the supernatural in a powerful way. However, as I grew older, I really longed for a community of believers who were in love with Jesus like I wanted to be. I wanted to rip open the word and examine it for all its treasure, and I wasn't finding that in my life at the time...and through a series of circumstances in college, I did find that deep community, and it just so happens that I chose not to be Catholic anymore because knowing God in such an intimate way was that powerful. And one thing I have always found difficult in the Catholic church is the strong reliance on others (be it priests or deacons) to tell you what God means and is thinking. I realize pastors do this too...but they usually also deeply encourage you to discover this on your own and in a small group with others as well. I realize there are some Catholics who do have all of this...and if I had, perhaps I'd one day have that Catholic wedding I dreamed of as a child. ( and who knows? Maybe still will if the circumstances are right.)
Now did I get to say these things? Nope. Because in reality, he was looking for a certain answer to the prescribed question. He listened to about 3 sentences while looking down at the table and then interjected with his thoughts...including the fact that a transubstantiated host doesn't contain gluten. My celiac stomach that once forgot and took communion was inclined to disagree (albeit silently).
He hasn't called.
Needless to say, I am less than heartbroken, although I have learned to pray for him.
Here is my take away from this:
1.) I now know how to succinctly answer the Catholic question to all denominations
2.) That there is something worse than not feeling beautiful--it is a man making you feel like you have absolutely nothing interesting to say. :-(
and
3.) Be the listener and question-asker I'd want someone to be for me.
Even on bad dates, God is present. Amen?
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger--for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. ~ James 1:19-20
It also doesn't help that I am a food snob. Yes, a legit snob. I love fresh unprocessed foods, because well, they love me. They don't make my body feel icky and they keep fibro symptoms and migraines at bay. But this guy decided we would meet at Applebees, and even as my nose wrinkled at the thought, I decide I can be a non food snob from time to time.( Of course, even as I write this I still sort of feel like everyone just needs to come to the light and be a food snob with me, but I digress...)
I drove an hour and 20 minutes through the fog (but yes, I did have shoes on and I didn't really have to drive uphill, just north ;-) ). I get there and he's there waiting. He doesn't seem to recognize me which I find odd because my pictures clearly look like me online. No surprises--that's my policy! We are quickly ushered to a table when the talking begins, and goes on, and on, and on, and on for 2 hours and 45 minutes. Perhaps he was nervous...perhaps not so suave with the social skills...both things I can overlook to some degree...but after about 2 hours, I think I may have said a total of 5 sentences. The conversation was odd too...ranging from bullying to grandma's with dementia, to living at his parent's house with chickens, to his Catholic young adult group. Yes, I know...you're all jealous.
After a few hours of this I took a short(ish) trip to the bathroom to heal my swirling introverted brain. I tried not to look like a crazy woman as I took deep breaths at the sink and splashed water on my wrists. I took a resolved breath and headed back to the table. And FINALLY...there it was-- a question all for me to answer on my own! I could barely contain my glee...until---
He wanted to know why I don't choose to be Catholic anymore. Having grown up in the Catholic church and now attending a non-denominational one, I am used to answering that question to other non-denominational Christians. But, explaining that to a Catholic (and an evidently die-hard papist) was a new one for me and I had to gather my thoughts for a few moments. Let me preface with the fact that I deeply respect the faith of my childhood. It's where I first learned that Jesus loves me, where I first heard His voice, and where I first experienced the supernatural in a powerful way. However, as I grew older, I really longed for a community of believers who were in love with Jesus like I wanted to be. I wanted to rip open the word and examine it for all its treasure, and I wasn't finding that in my life at the time...and through a series of circumstances in college, I did find that deep community, and it just so happens that I chose not to be Catholic anymore because knowing God in such an intimate way was that powerful. And one thing I have always found difficult in the Catholic church is the strong reliance on others (be it priests or deacons) to tell you what God means and is thinking. I realize pastors do this too...but they usually also deeply encourage you to discover this on your own and in a small group with others as well. I realize there are some Catholics who do have all of this...and if I had, perhaps I'd one day have that Catholic wedding I dreamed of as a child. ( and who knows? Maybe still will if the circumstances are right.)
Now did I get to say these things? Nope. Because in reality, he was looking for a certain answer to the prescribed question. He listened to about 3 sentences while looking down at the table and then interjected with his thoughts...including the fact that a transubstantiated host doesn't contain gluten. My celiac stomach that once forgot and took communion was inclined to disagree (albeit silently).
He hasn't called.
Needless to say, I am less than heartbroken, although I have learned to pray for him.
Here is my take away from this:
1.) I now know how to succinctly answer the Catholic question to all denominations
2.) That there is something worse than not feeling beautiful--it is a man making you feel like you have absolutely nothing interesting to say. :-(
and
3.) Be the listener and question-asker I'd want someone to be for me.
Even on bad dates, God is present. Amen?
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger--for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. ~ James 1:19-20
