Under Pressure

Grace under pressure. That was the prayer of my heart this summer--to exhibit grace in the midst of turmoil. I felt as though I was making some progress, although I feel for me--often times if I am overwhelmed or full up and feeling irrational and tearful, I retreat, sit alone, cry through my tears until Jesus reminds me softly that He is there.

I am still unsure what to do when I have to talk to people in the middle of the pressure...whatever it is. I don't want to return to that place where I stuff my emotions...it took so long to rid my broken heart of that well meaning voice so long ago who said "Whatever you do today, hold it together for your friend, cry later." I fear, dear world, that I am an extremist, and I took that to it's fullest. I think there was a span of three years where I shed nary a tear. For a girl created like me, that is no good at all.

That said, I can circumvent the overwhelmed  stage if I am well-rested & feeling well. I don't quite know how to do that when I am overtired, achy, and not feeling well. And if some huge looming bill is in store, I'm done for in the first half hour until I can be still enough where Jesus can remind me that He is, in fact, Sovereign.

Yesterday was one of those days I feel like I failed at grace under pressure from start to finish.

I think the point is...the grace-giver was providing all the grace yesterday. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning.